Just Like Urkel, Alec Lemon is Afraid of Spiders

Lemon’s Twitter tells us how Marrone has brainwashed this team.

Pretty good month for Alec Lemon. A break out game with 8 receptions and over 100 yards in the loss against Pitt, part of a 3-0 Big East record on the road and nailed a solid Urkel costume for Halloween (much better than Otto’s attire).

(Although, I’m not sure Natty Light was ever the bev of choice on the set of Family Matters.)

Lemon’s Twitter feed is not quite as devastatingly colorful as say, @ChanJones. But as we know, The Fizz has been blocked from that goodness, so let’s peruse the wideout’s inner thoughts:

“I need a date for Athlete Winter Formal!! Anyone want to come with me?”

The Fizz supports any and all responsible females who would like to sign up for this position. It’s your job to make sure the football team doesn’t go Big Baby Davis, get hammered, punch a buddy in the face who’s flirting with his girlfriend and miss six weeks with a broken hand. We need this to be like Back to the Future’s “Enchantment Under the Sea” dance. Some slow-dancing, a little Chuck Berry and no fireworks. There’s a bowl game on the line.

“I be going ham upgrade from bologna”

A nod to his head coach’s choice of nighttime snacks? Like Marrone, like son. See, this is why I love Dougie. He’s so thoroughly brainwashed these kids into following him, he’s got college students thinking a big night is going ham over bologna.

“Just touched down feeling like we 6-2 oh wait we are!!#flipthebanner”

Well played, Alec. See what he did there? He ran the Twitter end-around on you. Thought he was going one way, went the other. Then spiked a hashtag on your ass for effect.

And the great Spider-gate of 2010.

“omg a spider was just crawling on me and i freaked out in the middle of class and looked like an #idiot

“I was about to get up and start patting my body down and run too I #HATE spiders”

“You know your class is boring when the highlight of the class is you freaking cuz of a spider #pathetic

If Alec is following Marrone into the foxhole, he might not want to mention this episode. Marrone walks into spider webs purposely just to lay waste to their weeks of hard work. He then picks them up between his thumb and forefingers and teaches them basic life skills, including the meaning of spinning webs in Syracuse and the spiders that came before it.

In the immortal words of Lemon’s Halloween costume: Did I do that?

Posted: D.A.

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